


New Light

by fihof



Category: South Park
Genre: Alcohol, Drugs, Fluff, Multi, Partying, Slow Burn, aged-up, cheeto puffs, except ike but he doesn't do anything illicit, god im high as shit, ill add more tags as I go, kyle has a man bun, series-typical homophobia, the youngest of them is 18, wholesome bros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-16 10:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21506371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fihof/pseuds/fihof
Summary: Kyle Broflovski, the only one of his friends to not go to college(or disappear), has been having a difficult time coping with being by himself, to say the least. But none of his friends are willing to let him forget about them, even Eric Cartman, who had honestly not left his mind regardless.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Bebe Stevens/Craig Tucker, Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman, Nichole Daniels/Heidi Turner, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger, bebe stevens/clyde donovan(past), jimmy valmer/original male character
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	1. Before the First Snow

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic for south park, and my first piece in a while, so im super excited to share it! it isn't edited, or betad, and i wrote it while high. have fun!  
> https://soundcloud.com/ryan-woods-36550840/new-light-ruff-ft-alyssacado

The day neared seven a.m., and the sun was hinting to its rise with blue twilight breaking through the black of a late autumn night. Kyle laid in bed, staring out of the window at that vibrantly pastel sky. He should’ve been well-rested by now, maybe just waking up if it was an early morning. But it was his day off, and he hadn’t had any previous sleep to be waking up from. 

A lot was on his mind, as of late. His family’s recent move out of Colorado, the nearing holidays he would subsequently have to spend without them. It was odd, but he thought he missed Ike most of all. As they’d gotten older, and more specifically as Ike had gotten older, they had grown into more similar personalities. Kyle had always enjoyed spending time with his little brother, but the way they interacted felt more friendly and less obligated. Now Ike was just beginning high school, without his older brother there to support him and show him through it.

He understood why they’d had to move, of course. Gerald having a job and being able to support them was far more important than staying in South Park. His new job, in fact, was helping Kyle even now, as without his parents sending him what was essentially a monthly allowance, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make rent. He had a job, even a full time one, but working at the little one-off pizza shop, “Pie by the Piece,” wasn’t exactly the most financially gratifying endeavor.

He supposed he shouldn’t be upset with his parents for leaving him in South Park by himself, as it had largely been his decision to stay. At first, he had even had a place to stay without worrying about paying anything. But the Marsh’s hospitality had only lasted about a month into him getting a job before they decided that without Stan in the city, there was no reason to continue housing Kyle. After that, though, he had realised the situation that not moving had put him into. 

And, with the thought of his situation, and his stay with the Marshes, he was faced with another unpleasant reality: he missed his friends, just as much as he missed his family. Hell, they were his family. An inseparable group of four, even once they had reached high school and starting branching out to other friends. Because, truthfully, as much as he missed Clyde, and Token, and Jimmy, and Butters, he missed Stan, Kenny, and Cartman more. And no, maybe that hadn’t seen as much of each other before graduation as he would’ve liked, but the option was always there. They would always make time for each other(except Cartman, who refused to hang out with Kyle or Stan unless Kenny was there too), and they always saw each other at school and dances and other events. 

It was off-putting, to say the least, to be so distant from all of them. Kenny was the closest, going to the local community college. He had moved out of his house, however, into a house with Craig and Tweek, who went to the same school. It was a twenty minute drive from Kyle’s apartment, which would be fine if either of them had a car. Stan went to college somewhere in Rhode Island, to be close to Wendy to support her at Brown. They’d had a rocky relationship the first couple of years of high school, but reconciled for good once they had become upperclassmen.

Cartman went to UCO Denver, Kyle thought. He wasn’t entirely sure. Cartman had discussed it as one of his top picks in their junior year, but stopped sharing as many of those personal types of things with Kyle their senior year. They’d, of course, never been close, but the revelation had disappointed Kyle when he realized they were about to graduate and he didn’t even know something as simple as if Cartman was going to be at Token’s party.

He had been there, and Kyle had confronted him about his isolation. “Why do you even care if I talk to you?” Cartman had asked, and Kyle couldn’t place the remembered spite in the question to his inebriation or Cartman’s. 

“We’re friends, right?” Kyle had responded, and Cartman had snorted.

“Maybe,” Cartman answered. Kyle recalled how the lighting had made Cartman’s hair look positively orange, and he had reached up to grab a strand of it. Cartman had flinched, but paused and remained still when he saw that Kyle wasn’t planning anything.

“You look just as ginger as me, right now,” Kyle had giggled. He still hated himself for _giggling_ in front of _Cartman_. 

“I’m going to therapy,” Cartman admitted, unprompted. Kyle’s hand fell from his hair, catching on Cartman’s shoulder. “I have been. It’s why I leave early—”  
“Tuesdays and Fridays,” Kyle finished for him. He smiled at Cartman. “You really have? That’s incredible!” He had long-since noticed a change in Cartman’s behavior, and figured it had been something like therapy. “I’m not going to college!”

Kyle still isn’t really sure why he told Cartman. He had been avoiding the subject with Stan and Kenny(his other friends didn’t really care) for a while, saying things like “I’m figuring it out,” and, “don’t worry, I have a plan”. It was true, but neither of his close friends really knew that his plan didn’t involve college. For now, at least. 

And then Cartman had smiled at him. It seemed pure, and clearer than his usual drunk leer. He just seemed happy. Much happier, Kyle was just now realizing, than he had seen Cartman for God only knows how long before that. “Fuck college, dude! You’ll be fine without it, I know you will.” Kyle had smiled back at Cartman, and felt his heart race at the sincerity of the moment. Evidently, the moment became too much for Cartman, as he quipped, “Your greedy Jew tendencies won’t let you not have enough money to be fine!”

And Kyle had laughed. Somehow, he had been the right mixture of drunk, and fluttery, and some other soup of feelings in the moment to laugh at one of Cartman’s dumb Jew jokes. 

And then the very next day, no one could find him. He didn’t respond to any of Kyle’s or Stan’s texts, and even when Kenny had tried calling him it went straight to voicemail. They’d gone to his house, and there was no trace of Liane or Cartman, not a single thing left behind. It was obvious they had moved, but the entire thing had been a mystery, and regarded as strange even by the residents of South Park.

Thinking about it now left a sour taste in Kyle’s mouth, and he scolded himself for even letting his train of thought go down that path. He wasn’t even sure why it made him so upset. Yeah, he had been friends with Cartman, and they’d known each other since they were three years old. But Cartman had still made much of his young life a living hell, and they’d never been terribly close. Something about the nature of it, how it had followed the first time Kyle had really felt that he and Cartman really had been friends all along. It just felt so unfair.

Kyle looked at his alarm clock, shocked to see that it now read a bright 8:30. Had he really been thinking about Cartman for an hour and a half?

Groaning, Kyle swung his legs over the side of the bed and got to his feet. After all of that, there was clearly no way he was going to be able to sleep anymore. He grabbed some clothes and went to shower, only to be disappointed by his roommate already showering behind the locked door. Even if he felt like waiting, there would no doubt be no hot water left afterwards, and it really wasn’t cold shower weather.

He went back to his room and dressed there, then looked in the mirror. There were a lot of features he had that he wasn’t particularly fond of, but luckily in later years his hair had stopped being one of them. He had stopped getting it cut regularly around the beginning of sophomore year, only getting trims after that. Between letting it grow out and actually paying attention to it, he’d actually grown to like it a lot.

He pulled it up into a messy bun behind his head, then grabbed a coat and left the house. He was walking to the cafe near his house he would usually eat breakfast at when he got a call from Kenny.

“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Kyle said into the phone, after very briefly debating whether to answer. “Surprised you’re even awake.”

_“Oh, and you’ll like the reason I am,”_ Kenny answered, voice seething with contained excitement. _“Semester just ended at SPCC, finally! We were the last of most of our friends’ schools, how bullshit? Anyways, we had to drive Tweek to the airport to catch the flight his parents bought for him to fly to California to see his grandparents until the next semester!”_ Kenny paused to take a deep breath. _“So, I’ve convinced Craig to swing by and scoop you, so you can come over and help us plan the first of all of the awesome parties we’re gonna have over break.”_

Kyle couldn’t help laughing a little. “Well, first of all, I’m not at home so you’ll have to swing by The Coffee Pot instead.”

_“You’re at The Coffee Pot?”_ Kenny asked. _“Oh that is so incredibly perfect, bro.”_ Much softer, Kyle could hear him say to Craig, _“Craig, he’s at that weed cafe. Yeah, so let’s pick up a zip while we’re there. You know I can pay you back half. Kyle, go in on a zip and a half with us!”_

Rolling his eyes, not that Kenny could tell, Kyle said, “Sure, dude. It’s what, like $70?”

_“More like $75 with tax, but maybe we could get someone else in on it too,”_ Kenny answered, and Kyle could tell he was on speaker as Craig said something about covering a bit for Kenny if he needed. _“You’re such a bro, Craig. I adore you, you know that?”_

“Alright, Ken, I’m in the shop now,” Kyle interrupted before Kenny and Craig could get all lovey-dovey on the phone. “I’m gonna order my coffee and sit here and wait for you, and when you guys get here I’ll go in on that kush with you. Anything for a party, right?”

Kenny nearly whooped in response. _“I love you, Kyle! On some real shit! We’ll be there in, like, ten!”_

“Alright, see you soon, Ken,” Kyle said, trying not to let his smile get too wide.

_“You’re damn right you will, babe.”_ And the call ended. Kyle shook his head; he had known Kenny longer than anyone else, and his actions still made Kyle feel like his father. Kenny was always going out and doing crazy things, for no reason other than to try them. He had the confidence of someone who wasn’t afraid of dying, who knew that he couldn’t. Kyle, however, knew that everyone dies, and a lot of people die in really stupid ways, and he doesn’t want that to happen to Kenny.

It’s not long after Kyle sits down with his latte that he can hear Craig’s brakes screech in the parking lot, and he confirms it with a look out the window. He can already see Kenny’s big, lopsided grin as he gets out of the car, handing a small wad of cash to Craig, who takes it with no change in expression and shoves it in his pocket. 

The doorbell chimes as the two boys enter the store, and Kenny walks right over to Kyle’s couch and plops down next to him. “S’up, short stuff?” he asked, and Kyle instinctively huffed and crossed his arms. Kenny may have become the tallest of all of them, at a staggering 6’5”(somehow), but Kyle had managed to come in right behind him at 6’2”.

“I’m not short,” Kyle said. “And I feel like I should be asking you that. Tweek leaves town and you and Craig decide to throw a ton of awesome parties?”

“It’s not like we didn’t talk to him beforehand or anything!” Kenny defended himself, clearly upset at the insinuation that he and Craig would purposefully throw parties without their boyfriend, and what the reason that would suggest they were throwing the parties for. “No, but you know Tweek. He still gets super anxious, even if he’s not living with his parents anymore. He’s not the biggest fan of parties, and he said since he was gonna be out of state anyways to just not do anything _too_ drastic.”

Kyle raised an eyebrow. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Ken, I don’t like where you put the emphasis in that sentence.”

Kenny laughed, and it made Kyle smile. Kenny’d always had a nice laugh. “We all gotta be a little bit drastic sometimes, Kyle. And since so many people have just been getting back from school now, it’s the perfect time to get drastic! Hell, Stan and Wendy are coming in in like an hour.”

“Holy shit, that’s right!” Kyle exclaimed, leaning back in his chair and squeezing his hands on his knees. “Stan texted me about that last week and I totally forgot that was today.”

“Fuck yeah,” Kenny said, nodding. “We’re gonna pick him up tonight, before the party. For now he and Wendy were gonna go nap or some shit, because they’re ‘tired from the flight’.” The last half of Kenny’s sentence was said in high-pitched, mocking tone, but Kyle knew he respected their friend’s decision. The semester had probably been exhausting for people in school, and traveling from Rhode Island to Colorado was also likely not fun. 

“Nice that he’s gonna be there for the party, though,” Kyle said. “Who else is gonna be in town? And, is it safe to assume that everyone coming back coming to at least tonight’s party?”

“To answer your questions in reverse order,” Kenny said, “yes. And pretty much everyone is back. Clyde, Token, Butters, Bebe, Heidi, Nichole, Jimmy, the whole lot. Plus a ton of people who weren’t in our class, a ton of this year’s seniors and juniors, and a ton of people who’re coming back from years ahead of ours.”

“Your house is that big?” Kyle asked, trying to remember exactly what their triad’s house looked like. He’d only ever really been once, the other times he had seen Kenny they met in the heart of South Park.

Kenny shrugged, and said, “Sorta. Pretty big backyard, at least, with a fire pit. Doesn’t matter, either way, everyone who wants to be there’ll fit, and anyone who doesn’t fit just doesn’t wanna be there bad enough.”

Kyle hummed and sipped his latte. Kenny stared at him for a second, studying him. Just as he looked like he was going to say something, Kyle gasped and shoved his cup into Kenny’s hand. “I gotta go give Craig my money.”

Kyle made sure his wallet was in his pocket, and managed to reach Craig just as he was stepping up to the counter. “Took you long enough,” Craig said, though he didn’t seem displeased. Kyle had gotten to know Craig a bit better since Kenny had started dating him, and knew he liked to have his moments alone. “What strain do you want?”

“Well, if it’s a party we probably want a sativa, or sativa-dominant if we get a hybrid,” Kyle reasoned, looking at the color-coded plaques in front of each strain’s display jar. Blue for indica, red for sativa, and purple for a hybrid. “We don’t want everyone falling asleep as soon as they start smoking.”

“Sour Diesel?” Craig suggested, pointing to the little, red-labeled jar of weed behind the counter. The plaque had a best seller star on it. 

“Would you like to smell it?” the budtender asked. Craig nodded, and the budtender pulled the jar out, twisting it open. It was highly aromatic, Kyle’s face scrunching up immediately, and even Craig was visibly affected.

“We’ll take an ounce and a half,” Craig said, not even taking the jar from the budtender, who was smiling brightly. The budtender replaced the jar, making sure it was tightly closed, and reached into a drawer underneath the display case. He pulled out two bags of vacuum-sealed weed, one bag half the size of the other. Craig paid, also buying more wraps than Kyle thought was probably necessary, and left a tip in the jar.

The two walked back over to where Kenny was sitting, taking an innocent sip of Kyle’s latte. Kyle snatched the cup back from Kenny, thankful that it didn’t seem that much lighter. “Alright, we got the weed,” Kyle said. 

“Bet, let’s roll a blunt for the road and get outta here,” Kenny said, standing and putting his hands in his pocket. “We still gotta stop by my parents’ before we go to the house, I gotta give Kevin money to go get us some liquor. And probably also steal some from the liquor cabinet.”

“And you have Karen’s blanket in the trunk,” Craig reminded him, and Kenny nodded enthusiastically. 

The three of them got into Craig’s car, Kyle sitting in the back. Craig handed Kenny the weed, and he opened one of the bags, smelling it deeply. “Oh, that’s the good shit.” He took a pack of Backwoods out of his pocket, rolled a blunt, sparked it, and when he was ready, passed it back to Kyle. Kyle was hesitant, as he always was, and especially when Kenny wanted him to smoke in the car. But, it was a special day and Kyle didn’t want to risk his good mood for anything.

They got to the McCormick’s house, and Kenny fished a brand-new blanket out of the trunk, then went inside. He came back out about fifteen minutes later, a big bag labeled “SOUTH PARK LIQUORS” in his hands where the blanket had been. 

“Alright, let’s hit it!” Kenny exclaimed, taking the freshly re-lit blunt from Craig. Then the three were off to Kenny’s house, to ready themselves for whatever the night could throw at them.


	2. Targeted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle is overjoyed at the prospect of seeing an old friend and going to Target. He gets a little bit more of both than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a little bit short sorry  
> https://soundcloud.com/ryan-woods-36550840/new-light-ruff-ft-alyssacado

There wasn’t a better type of night, in Kenny’s opinion, to have a party than late autumn, right before the first snow of the year. He wasn’t quite sure how he was always able to pin when the first snow would be in order to host a party the night before, but it never failed to make his friends happy and his parties absolutely insane. And with two liters of Hennessy, two liters of vodka, and more than a few cases of beer Kevin had dropped off at Kenny’s after he got off work at the liquor store, not to mention over an ounce of Sour Diesel just from them, tonight was sure to be no exception.

  
Currently, he was laying in the living room with Kyle and Craig, high out of his mind and holding himself back from hitting the burning bong Kyle had just set down. He didn’t want to get too lit before the party even began. “Alright, y’all. It’s like… six. We still need to grab Stan, Wendy’s getting her own ride, and we need to get cups and like… chips and shit.”

  
“We should get Cheeto puffs!” Kyle exclaimed in agreement, passing the bong to Craig. He didn’t even ask for it, just put his hand towards Kyle and made a beckoning motion. Once the bong was in his hand, he flipped Kyle off with the other. Kyle giggled.

  
“Y’all!” Kenny said, with more urgency. “We need to get Stan before we keep going off on this shit.” He wasn’t even sure if what he’d said made sense, but both Kyle and Craig seemed to know what he meant. Things usually worked out like that for him.

  
“Does he really need to come?” Craig groaned. While Craig and Stan had had a sort of petty rivalry while they were younger, they had become close to friends after Kenny joined Craig and Tweek their junior year. “He and Wendy, I’m sure, would be able to have just as much fun on their own.”

  
“Well, then I guess it’s too bad for them that I’m not letting that happen,” Kenny argued back, sticking his tongue out at Craig when he flipped Kenny off. “Come on, babes, let’s get going.” Kenny stood up, and in doing so tore down the last wall keeping Kyle and Craig from giving in to his demands. The other two got up from their respective seats as well, following Kenny in grabbing their coats and going out to Craig’s car.

  
Once they got to Wendy’s, Kenny texted Stan to come outside. Kyle got out of the car without saying anything, and though both Kenny and Craig’s eyes followed him, neither said anything. Kyle waited for almost a minute before Wendy’s door opened, and Stan and Wendy walked out, briefly kissing. Then, Wendy and Kyle’s eyes met, and Kyle couldn’t keep hiding his smile when he saw Wendy’s. Wendy pointed over Stan’s shoulder, and Stan turned around, actually gasping when he saw Kyle.

  
Stan ran to his super best friend, who was running to him at the same time, and they connected in, at least in Kenny’s opinion, a painful looking hug. They were clearly holding each other tightly, and if Kenny didn’t know better he would’ve said that Kyle’s hands were in Stan’s hair. The two hugged for over a minute, the only two guys in the world who could hold each other for that long without accusing jeers of, “Queer!” and “Faggots!” following them everywhere they went.

  
Kenny watched the two, but didn’t fail to notice out of the corner of his eyes that Wendy slowly slid back inside her house and left Stan to his moment with Kyle, knowing that that was going to be where all of Stan’s attention was for a while now. The two exchanged words, then walked towards Craig’s car.

  
“Hey, guys!” Stan said excitedly as he sat down and clicked his buckle in. A few seconds later, Kyle had done the same, and Craig peeled off in the direction of his and Kenny’s house. “God, it’s so good to see all of you again. And it’s gonna be nice when we’re fucked up tonight!”

  
Kenny cheered at Stan’s words, and even Craig and Kyle managed to give small shouts. Kyle slung an arm over Stan’s shoulders, laughing. Stan couldn’t help but join him; Kyle’s laughter was too infectious. He was too happy to be back, a feeling he hadn’t expected to have when he got back to South Park. Sure, he had plenty of positive memories in his hometown, but there were just as many if not more negative ones in there as well. But all of that dread had melted away as soon as he stepped out of the plane.

  
And now that he was here, with Kyle and Kenny, and Hell, even Craig, all of that positivity that the town had washed over him was knocking him back down tenfold. Looking at Kyle, he had the sneaking suspicion that he felt the same way as Stan.

  
“Stan, you gonna hit this?” Stan looked away from Kyle to the front passenger seat, from which Kenny was currently offering him a joint to hit. Never one to back down, Stan took it and hit it a good few times before passing on to Kyle, whose enthusiasm surprised him. Although, if Stan gave it some thought, he probably had been with Craig and Kenny for quite a while, and had probably had all day to abandon his hangups about drugs before a party that was sure to be rife with them.

  
“Alright, Craig, let’s hit Target and then we can go back home,” Kenny said, scrolling through his phone as though he was looking for something. “I didn’t tell anybody that they should start coming over until about 8 or 9, and the only person who ever really arrives places early or on time like that is Tweek, so we should have plenty of time to do whatever the fuck we want.”

  
“Oh, Kenny!” Stan said, unzipping one of his coat pockets and reaching inside. “I remembered how you texted me that we were gonna have to save that S.D. for the party, so I figured in the meantime I could help us take the edge off!” He proudly pulled a little Tegridy jar out of his pocket.

  
“Holy shit, bro, is that your dad’s new holiday strain?” Kenny asked, snatching the jar out of Stan’s hands.

  
“Candy Cane,” Stan claimed proudly. They parked and walked into Target, Kenny still examining the jar, and Stan took the chance to fall back in line with Kyle.

  
“How’s it been, dude?” Stan asked. “I feel like you’ve been distant or something, like texting less. You been good?”

  
Kyle was taken aback by Stan’s question. Sure, they’d always been more open about their feelings with each other than with anyone else, but this kind of question was rare. In fact, it was especially rare with Stan. They could be open with each other, sure, but it normally only came naturally, after they had been hanging out together for a little while with few breaks. Normally, one would be asleep on the other’s floor at around five in the morning and let on that he was sad.

  
“Wow, um, thanks for asking,” Kyle said sincerely, and Stan smiled at him. “To be honest, it’s been a little odd not having you guys here, especially since my family moved. It’s weird,” Kyle laughed, “I miss Ike.”

  
Stan smiled. “It’s weird, but I kind of get what you mean. To be honest, it’s been weird only having Wendy around. Don’t get me wrong, I like living with her and all that! But I miss you guys.” He punched Kyle jokingly in the arm. “Plus you have a fucking android and refuse to get a Skype so I can’t even fucking FaceTime you!”

  
“I know, but it’s not my fault that Apple simply ins’t superior!” Kyle said, letting his eyes roam. “Oh, my God, _Cheeto Puffs_!” he moaned as he saw them halfway down the chip aisle. Stan rolled his eyes, checking to make sure he saw where Kenny and Craig went to before following Kyle towards the Cheeto Puffs.

  
Stan stood next to Kyle as he debated between which chips he actually wanted now that he was at the store and all of his vast array of options was laid out before him. Stan’s eyes wandered, as he wasn’t particularly invested in Kyle’s decision, and he looked around the store for anything vaguely interesting to stare at. And he found something much more than vaguely interesting.

  
“Holy shit,” Stan said, not moving his eyes, but reaching to paw at Kyle’s arm. He tried to get a good grip, but Kyle flailed to get away. “No, dude, trust me, look at this fucking shit.” Kyle made a dissatisfied noise, but turned to where Stan was staring. Stan turned his head just in time to see Kyle’s jaw drop.

  
“What the fuck?” Kyle said, voice seething with something Stan couldn’t make out. “Is that fucking Cartman?”


	3. Party of his Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the party nears, Kyle gets heated about encountering Cartman. He knows he needs to continue their conversation, but it's (unfortunately) up to Cartman whether or not he'll get the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://soundcloud.com/ryan-woods-36550840/new-light-ruff-ft-alyssacado

Kyle didn’t think his chest had ever been tighter in his life. He couldn’t even get an idea of his heart rate, it was racing so fast. Why was this happening? Why was Cartman here? Why was Cartman here now? Of all times? And, somehow most importantly, did this mean he was going to be at Kenny’s party?

  
Maybe it was because he was high, or maybe it was because he had just confessed to Stan that he missed all his old friends, but Kyle grabbed Stan’s arm and began marching towards Cartman, much to Stan’s dismay.

  
“Cartman!” Kyle called out, waving his free hand. He could see Cartman’s face distort, but he didn’t turn towards them. “Cartman! I know you can hear me, so you really don’t have to bother ignoring me.”

  
Cartman finally turned to face Kyle and Stan, putting on an obviously fake confident smile. “Oh, Stan and his Jew! Fancy seeing you two here!”

  
“Oh, shut the fuck up with that shit Cartman,” Kyle said, jerking his hand away from Stan so that he could cross his arms in front of himself. “If it’s ‘fancy’ seeing anyone here, it’s you! Where did you go? Why has no one seen you in, like, six months? You up and disappeared, not answering your phone, not leaving behind a letter or fucking anything and now you’re just back? What the fuck happened?”

  
Stan could see Cartman growing defensive, and could tell that Kyle didn’t. He put a hand on Kyle’s arm, but couldn’t stop Cartman from snapping back.

  
“You don’t need to know what the fuck happened, Jew!” he practically snarled. “Wherever I went is none of your Goddamn business, and you have no right to come up to me and attack me like this for nothing! That is just like you, Kyle!”

  
“Will you guys both shut the fuck up for, like, two minutes?” Stan interrupted, equal parts annoyed and desperate. They both turned to look at him. “I just got off of a long-ass plane ride and was really calmed by seeing people I know for maybe an hour. But you two assholes are about to ruin it with this same dumb shit you always pull. You haven’t seen each other in six months and as soon as you reunite you’re jumping down each others’ throats! I get that it’s your ‘thing’ or whatever, but it’s not the fucking time.”

  
Cartman scoffed and turned his nose towards the ceiling. “Whatever. _I_ was being polite, it was that dirty Jew who had to go and wreck things just like always.”

  
Kyle, upset at the realization that Cartman was correct, looked away from Cartman as quickly as he could. “I’m sorry,” he said just as fast, and as quietly as he thought he could and still have Cartman hear him. Both Cartman and Stan turned confused eyes upon him.

  
“I’m sorry, what was that?” Cartman asked, cloyingly sweet and full of sarcasm. “I don’t think I quite heard you, you spoke ever so quietly.”

  
“I know you know what I said, fatass, so don’t try it,” Kyle growled. Cartman gave a soft huff and looked up at Kyle. Just like when they had graduated, Cartman was a good couple inches shorter that Kyle was. Kyle didn’t fail to notice, however, that where much of Cartman’s bulk had been fat, even at graduation, he seemed to be different now. Some subtle type of toned, as if he worked out but maybe still had some work to do on his diet. Kyle couldn’t help wondering if it was something he had been doing for therapy.

  
“Well, as much as I’d love to stay here and have Kyle continue berating me and then changing his mind, I have things to do,” Cartman said, grabbing the item he needed and placing it in his basket. “Stan, daywalker.” And he began to walk off. Kyle felt uncomfortable watching him leave, as though there was something he was supposed to give to him.

  
“Cartman, wait!” Kyle called. Cartman paused at the end of the aisle, turning back to look at Kyle. He cleared his throat and continued, “There’s gonna be a party at Kenny’s. Everyone who’s back for the holidays is gonna be there, a whole ton of people we know and a whole ton who have no idea who we are. I can send you the address; it’d be nice if you could make it.” The last part was soft, almost as if he was trying to give the sentiment to Stan. But some nearly unreadable shift in Cartman’s blank expression told him he’d heard.

  
Cartman said something, but Kyle couldn’t quite hear what, and then he was walking off again. Kyle still felt that uncomfortable ache, which he had hoped inviting Cartman to the party would get rid of. It felt familiar, and somehow Kyle was thinking about Token’s party in June again. At the end of the night, when they had all gotten in Clyde’s car, Kyle could remember trying to look at all of the features of Cartman’s face with just the light from the street lamps. He couldn’t remember why, only that he was significantly drunk at that point. 

  
And when they had gotten out of the car, at the same time since their houses were close together, and Clyde had peeled off in only the way Clyde ever did, they had been alone. Just like that moment in Token’s living room. Cartman had said something to him then, and he’d been too drunk to remember it. Kyle had responded and they’d stood outside in the cold summer night for far too long just talking. Just talking like Kyle and Cartman never did. 

  
And then it had started to rain. Kyle offered to let Cartman come in to his house, which Clyde had dropped them off in front of, and Cartman had gotten a strange expression on his face. Kyle had asked what was wrong, and Cartman shook his head, said goodnight, and walked to his house.

  
This feeling, Kyle knew, was the same feeling he’d had in that moment. He didn’t know why, or fully what it was, but he figured he was just missing Cartman more since he didn’t have his family around either. He silently hoped that Cartman would take him up on his offer, and text or call to ask for Kenny’s address. 

  
“Dude, that was fucking weird,” Stan said beside Kyle, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking back to the chip aisle. “You said you wanted Cheeto Puffs?”

  
“Stan, are you really not affected by what just happened?” Kyle asked, feeling completely sober if not a little sick by now. “Cartman and his mom up and leave one night, with no warning and no hints as to what happened, and another piece of the mystery that could also _solve it_ shows up and you aren’t concerned?”

  
“Cartman was right, dude,” Stan said, though he hated having to say it. “It _isn’t_ really our business what happened. He and Liane moved, and now he’s back for some reason. That’s all we really need to know.” 

  
Kyle’s jaw dropped. How was it that Stan was going to defend Cartman when he had been questioning what had happened to the family ever since they disappeared? And especially when Stan had recently been almost less likely to agree with Cartman than Kyle.

  
“And I know what you’re thinking, dude, and yes I still wanna know what happened,” Stan said, somehow reading Kyle’s mind like he always did. “But, you know, maybe if you’re gonna start interacting with Cartman again, you shouldn’t start with that.”

  
Kyle shook his head, but voiced his agreement with Stan. His desperate need to know why Cartman had just up and left them like that would have to wait just a while longer. And though it would, of course, cause him quite a bit of grief, it would have to work because that was likely the only way he could find out.

  
Kyle met Stan in the chip aisle, and they quickly grabbed a couple bags of chips for the party — including Kyle’s Cheeto Puffs — before going to meet Kenny and Craig where they were practically cuddling while looking at pre-made Mac ’n Cheese dishes.

  
“You guys will never guess who we just saw in the other aisle!” Kyle announces as they approach the couple. They both turned to look at him. “I really don’t think I can tell you if you’re not sitting down. This one will shock you.”

“Okay, don’t be high and dramatic, asshole,” Craig said. “Just tell us who it is.”

  
“He honestly isn’t being dramatic,” Stan chimed in, eager to back Kyle up. “This shit absolutely killed me, I swear to God.”

  
“Well if it’s really so important why’d you bring it up now?” Kenny chided, lightly smacking Kyle on the back of the head. Kyle shoved him in response, and they tussled for a minute before deciding that they were too high to maintain this. “Whatever. I think we’ve got everything we need, so we can go and do a dramatic conversation at the house.”

  
Kyle looked down at the basket in Craig’s hand, and saw that they had already grabbed mixers and other various snack foods while he and Stan had been talking to Cartman. It didn’t feel like their conversation had taken that long, but maybe it was just because he was high and, oddly, talking to Cartman felt familiar enough that, while he was this lonely, he felt he could’ve done it forever.   
  
Not long after, they had checked out and were back at Kenny and Craig’s, the smell of Mac ’n Cheese wafting through the closed kitchen door into the living room. Kyle had opened his bag of Cheeto Puffs, and the four had all settled comfortably in various seats around the living room. 

  
“Alright, now that we’re all prepared,” Kenny drawled, the sarcasm in his voice painful to Kyle, who now wishes he’d just said it right there in the store. “Let’s hear it. What’s the big news? Who’s the crazy person you ran into today?”

  
Kyle looked at Stan, and Stan looked back at Kyle, gesturing with his head for Kyle to go ahead and tell them. “Kenny, we saw Cartman earlier.”

  
The acutely annoyed look dropped from Kenny’s face in an instant. Even Craig was almost comically shocked at Kyle’s words. Kenny looked down at the floor, blinking fast to try to keep himself from crying. However, he just couldn’t help it. This was too much to hear, too much to be this high for, too much to try to process all in one moment.

  
As tears fell straight from his weary eyes to the weary carpet, Kenny croaked out, “Why didn’t you come get me?” His voice cracked on every single word, and he wouldn’t have been surprised if Kyle and Stan could barely hear him.

  
Kenny wanted to be angry at them. He felt like he needed to be; they should have gotten him, and he should’ve been there too! What may have been his one chance to see Cartman, dashed because Kyle and Stan kept their dumb mouths shut. And yet, he didn’t feel much of anything. He was just, sad. He had been repressing how much he missed Cartman since the day after he moved, but now that he was back Kenny was forced to admit that yes, he missed Cartman dearly, and yes, he was astoundingly glad that Cartman was back.

  
“I’m so sorry, Kenny,” Kyle continued. “It was me. I was really high and just got pissed, and curious, and I missed him so much more than I realized I did, and especially after seeing Stan for the first time in so long I just wanted to go over and talk to him—” he took a deep breath, “and so I just grabbed Stan and went and confronted him, and then he got pissed off and walked away, and I’m really sorry, Kenny.”

  
Kenny wiped his cheeks off, his crying having stopped while Kyle was talking, and looked up at the pair. “It’s okay, Kyle. Really. I just… miss him.”

  
“He invited him to the party tonight, though!” Stan added, and all three others looked at him with completely different reactions. He couldn’t quite tell what Kyle was feeling, but Kenny looked immensely happy compared to how he had just been, and Craig looked upset, but Stan could tell even he was a bit excited. “We still don’t know if he’s gonna come, but at least that possibility is open.”

“Well, in that case,” Kenny said, giggly laughter bubbling into every word, “if there’s a possibility I might see him and even _thinking_ about that has got me like this, I might need to get a little less sober!” He grabbed a single Backwood out of his pocket, and opened it to roll them a blunt.

Dull, dry, old green paint peeled off of splintering wood along the wall’s of Eric’s old house. It was the exact same as how he had left it. Thankful he was wearing gloves, he ran his hand down the wall, picking paint chips off as he went.

  
He walked to the front door, briefly looking back at the old “FOR SALE” sign sitting in the yard. Of course, no one had bought or even looked at the house since they left. You can’t buy what’s not actually for sale.

  
Eric reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys, unlocking and opening the front door. It was still completely empty inside, of course. His mom hadn’t bought any of his furniture yet, or, if she had, none of it had had time to ship, and certainly nobody would have been there to put it together yet. 

  
Eric went upstairs, opening every single door on the way to his bedroom and looking around each of them for at least an entire minute each. When he got to his bedroom, he gave it the same stare-down, but afterwards he wasted no time getting to his hands and knees and seeing if he could find the floorboard he was looking for. He would have turned the lights on to help him see, but his mom had said that since it was only a few days until December, she would wait until then to resume paying utilities. And so Eric was without light, as well as heat.

  
Eventually, with the help of his very almost dead phone’s flashlight, he found it. Five floorboards from where his bottom right bedpost had been before they moved it, was a barely-there “ _E.C._ ” carved into the hardwood. He turned the flashlight off and shoved his phone back into his pants’ pocket, then reached for the most weathered corner of the floorboard, pulling it up with ease.

  
Inside there was a shoebox, with a big, white piece of duct tape that had, “ONLY OPEN IF YOU’RE THE BEST, A.K.A. ERIC CARTMAN ONLY” written across it in bright red sharpie. He smiled at the message, still very much so believing in the sentiment. Although, he might agree with it more now than he had then. It wasn’t as though Eric had actually terribly liked himself until quite recently.

  
Eric had expected that after he had told Kyle, at Token’s party in June, that he had been going to therapy, that he would feel discouraged. He had expected that Kyle would laugh at him, or say something shitty, and was afraid that by opening up he would confirm that Kyle truly didn’t care about him. 

  
But Kyle had not only reacted incredibly positively, he had noticed when Eric had been leaving, and had also opened up to Eric in response. It had felt like he was high for the rest of the night, even though he hadn’t been smoking that night. He had been a little drunk, sure, but he knew that wasn’t the cause of the elated feeling he had had.

  
And then, after Clyde dropped them off, and he had been alone with Kyle. Eric had only gotten drunker as the night had gone on, and he still felt amazing after talking to Kyle. All of that, not to mention the fact that he had been sneaking glances at Kyle the whole car ride home, and could have sworn that Kyle was looking right back at him the whole time.

  
“Kyle, I’m really glad I have you,” Eric said in his drunken stupor. “I really like you, Kyle.”

  
“I like you a lot, too, dude,” Kyle had replied. “We’re gonna have the best summer, both of us and the gang and everyone!” Eric knew that Kyle hadn’t gotten what he had meant, but was extremely pleased with Kyle’s answer nonetheless. At least, he was pleased with the first part of Kyle’s answer.

  
But Eric knew that he was about to be leaving. His mom had been quietly sending their things away to a house in Boulder, where her new husband — although Eric preferred the term “benefactor” — was going to be housing them until Eric went to college and would be able to move to wherever his school was. 

  
And in that moment, college had never sounded like a better option. Standing there with Kyle, hearing how excited he was to spend the summer with Eric. And Eric was desperate to have that, desperate to stay there with Kyle, and with Kenny, and Hell, even Stan and Butters. In that moment, he decided that he was going to apply to South Park Community College and move back into the house, since he knew his mom wasn’t selling it; the house had already been completely paid off, and who knew how long she would be out of it for?

  
They had talked for a bit longer, though it wasn’t long enough in Eric’s opinion. And then it had started to rain. Kyle offered to let Eric come inside, instead of making him walk only halfway down the block. And while every single ecstatic part of Eric’s brain was urging him to accept Kyle’s offer and see where the night might lead, Eric knew that he wouldn’t be able to without making Kyle aware of his move to Boulder. And he couldn’t do that to Kyle, not after the night they’d had. 

  
He wasn’t sure how long he was going to be gone, but he wanted to leave Kyle with as much of these good memories as he could retain until then.

  
Except that then had become now, and now Eric had basically told Kyle to go fuck himself.

  
Eric sighed and pulled out his phone to check the time. He was shocked, not only for how dark it was considering it was only 7:30, but also at the text from Kyle he had somehow missed from 20 minutes ago. 

  
_hey, cartman, i really hope this is still your number. u should text me bac kif it is. and also lmk if your coming to kennys party, we al really want you here man_

  
Eric was stunned at the message. He knew that the unusual spelling errors were the result of being in Kenny’s bad influence for at least over an hour, and any amount of time they may have been together before Eric had seen them at Target. He had seen Kenny with them and Craig while at the checkout, and had briefly considered saying something to them then as well, but had decided that his exit was already too definitive.

  
But, if what Kyle had said was true, then maybe he should have approached them. Eric couldn’t tell if Kyle was high, or if he meant it and they actually did miss having him around. 

  
Eric had been going to therapy, as well as taking medication, for quite a while before they had all graduated, and had been growing closer with all of his friends up until he moved. But therapy was about more than just changing his behavior, and in working on changing his mindset, he had become painfully aware of how horribly he had treated his friends when they were younger. Especially Kyle, because he had hated himself for liking Kyle and hated Kyle for not liking him back. It was a bad reason, but he at least knew not to treat it like an excuse.

  
How could they all want Eric to be around still, when they all knew as well as he did, if not better, what he had done to them? Of course, Eric was delighted, as he wanted to be around them, too. But it would be ceaselessly confusing, and he would definitely be mentioning this to Stephanie so she could help him a little bit more with his guilt management.

  
Eric quickly texted back, _this is still my number_ , then switched to his messages with Butters. Butters was the only person who knew that Eric was coming back, though he still knew nothing else about the situation. Butters was the only one that Eric was sure would be nonjudgmental of him, the only person he knew from South Park who dedicated himself to holding his arms open for anyone who would accept him back, and who believed strongly in second chances. Eric had teased him for it when they were younger, but was desperately grateful for such hospitality now.

  
_hey, butters, you going to kennys party?_ he texted.

  
_Hey Eric! Yeah I am, how did u hear about it?_ Butters reply quickly came.

  
_thru the grapevine, not important. think u could give me a ride? im at the motel 6_

  
_Absolutely Eric! I’ll come get u at like 8, we’ll get there at 830_

  
Eric breathed a sigh of relief, still afraid that Butters would reject him every time he asked him for help. He hated the way he texted, though. The auto-caps hurt his eyes when nearly everyone else that he knew had it turned off. Butters.

  
But, his ride to the party was secured. And hopefully, since Kyle didn’t know that he was coming, Eric would be able to swoop in mysteriously and sweep Kyle off of his feet. 

  
Eric laughed cruelly at himself, which Stephanie surely would’ve been disappointed in, then used the last of his phone’s battery life to order himself an Uber on his mom’s husband’s credit card. He placed the floorboard back over the shoebox, deciding it could wait until another day, and quickly navigated himself through the house, cursing every second of the way about the fact that he couldn’t see.

  
His muscle memory guided Eric well, however, and he was soon outside, and shortly after in his Uber, and on his was to get ready for what was going to be the most nerve-wracking party of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this took so long to upload! it has been a really wild few weeks, from going out of town to visit family for thanksgiving, to my car being broken like twice(which im now replacing). shits just been hectic, but this story has been on my mind the entire time and im really glad to be back on it :)


	4. Welcome to the Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party is well underway, and as much as he intoxicates himself to ignore it, Kyle has growing worries that his invitation may have overstepped its boundaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://soundcloud.com/ryan-woods-36550840/new-light-ruff-ft-alyssacado

The Mac ’n Cheese came out of the oven around the time that Red drove Bebe and Wendy to Kenny’s. They had decided to come over early, bored being by themselves while knowing that the boys would already be having a great time. Red and Bebe were absolutely delighted to get to sample Candy Cane right before it was released and Tegridy’s season closed out. Wendy politely declined, just like Stan knew she would, as she preferred to stick to mild drinking even when she was partying.

  
Soon, Red and Kyle were leaning against each other on the floor, polishing off his family-sized bag of Cheeto Puffs. Stan was sitting in the recliner behind them, Wendy perched on his lap. Craig and Kenny were also cuddling on the couch, with Bebe inching closer and closer to them, and neither of them did anything to stop her. Craig was shooting off a text to Tweek, and Kenny’s eyes ventured to his phone. He seemed to approve of the text, as he smiled and welcomed Bebe to cuddle with them. She accepted his invitation happily.

  
With the TV on Youtube playing some random mix of rap music that Craig had put on, they all sat on their phones and talking until more people started showing up. It had been Clyde, Token, and Nichole next, bringing more weed, and alcohol, and a bag of pills that made Kyle frown when he saw it. He wasn’t sure what it was, but decided he would probably want to stay away from it.

  
After those three, Kyle lost track of who was coming in. It was not long before people began pouring into the house, much less long than Kenny had said they would have. Not that he was upset — this was a party, after all, and he had known that it would be when Kenny had picked him up that morning. He just wished they’d been able to stay in that moment of peace a little bit longer.

  
As more people showed up, Craig turned the volume on the TV, and the Bluetooth speaker system throughout the first floor, up more and more until Kyle could hardly hear his own thoughts. Red had gotten up to go talk to Clyde a while ago, leaving Kyle to either sit on the floor with an empty chip bag, or to get up and throw it away and finally resign himself to joining the party.

  
Kyle pushed himself to his feet, excusing himself to Stan, who was still sitting with Wendy on the recliner. They somehow both already had a beer in their hands, and Stan smiled brightly up at Kyle and said, “Okay!” Kyle smiled back before maneuvering his way into the kitchen and locating the trashcan besides the sink.

  
After he tossed the bag, Kyle reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer. Just after he popped the cap off, he heard Heidi, from somewhere behind him, yell, “Kyle!” Kyle turned around to look at her. She was standing with Nichole, Jenny, Token, and someone Kyle didn’t recognize. She held up a bottle of clear liquor. “Come do tequila shots with us!”

  
It was immediately obvious to Kyle that almost everybody in attendance had been pre-gaming just as much as he had been, and was in some weird way thankful for it. It took all of the awkwardness out of having to start conversations with people while they were still sober and way too proud to not be bratty and petty, the way that everybody in South Park was. Instead, everyone was already loosened up, and really just trying to have a good time and see just how drunk or high or whatever else that they could get.

  
Kyle went to the table that Heidi and her group were standing at, and allowed them to pour him a shot and hand him a wedge of lime. He looked down at the table, and, sure enough, there was a cutting board. He wasn’t sure where they would have gotten it from, but didn’t really mind, whatever the answer may have been. 

  
Jenny picked a big thing of kosher salt, which had apparently been the only kind Kenny had in his house. She went to pour some onto Nichole’s freshly licked hand, then paused. “Does anyone know if it’s salt first? Or like, lime then shot then salt?” she asked.

“I think it’s shot then salt then lime,” Heidi said. “Does it really matter?”

  
“Well,” Jenny continued, huffing and clearly tired of being the most sober. “I just want to make sure that we’re doing it right!”

  
“Salt, shot, lime,” Kyle said, licking his hand and holding it out. The girls all looked at him in surprise, although Token seemed to expect Kyle to know what they were doing, and the other boy just didn’t care. The girls giggled, and Jenny poured salt onto his hand, and then onto the others’ as well. 

  
They all did their shots in the order that Kyle had dictated, the girls placing their shot glasses down hard afterwards and all cheering. Kyle shook his head involuntarily. He always hated the first few shots, or drinks. He took a sip from his beer, which may not have tasted better, but it did get the tequila burn out of his throat. 

  
“Want another?” Heidi asked Kyle, Jenny already pouring the five their new shots. Kyle looked around for a glimpse of anyone he knew, and vaguely thought that he saw Kenny, Craig, and Bebe across the room. He shrugged, then told Heidi that he did. She smiled, and moved to stand by him.   
He did two more shots with Heidi and her group before taking his beer and heading back to where he had been sitting with Stan. Stan had gotten up, off of the recliner, but Kenny was still on the couch. Bebe and Craig had both gotten up and disappeared to somewhere by then, replaced by Tammy and Scott.

  
“Kyle!” Kenny exclaimed, rocketing up and going to throw an arm around Kyle, leading them away from the couch towards the back door. “Where did you disappear to for almost an hour?”

  
“There was no way I took an hour,” Kyle argued, but thought about it while he sipped his beer. Between trying to navigate through the crowd, and doing shots with Heidi which had taken longer than he had expected as well, it was very likely that he could have taken anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour.

  
“Whatever, we’re going out to the fire. Craig and Stan are already out there,” Kenny explained, stumbling against Kyle as they left the house through the back door. Kyle’s jaw dropped when he saw just how many more people were in the backyard. Kenny laughed at the sight. “Fuck! Kyle, what’s the time? Craig and I hid our phones.”

  
Kyle pulled his own phone out, surprised to see that it was already almost 9 p.m. He wasn’t sure how it had gotten so late, though maybe he had been sitting for longer than he had thought before getting up to start drinking. “It’s like nine,” Kyle told Kenny. “God only knows how.”

  
“Not important!” Kenny declared. They were soon standing in the circle around the fire, Kenny and Kyle next to each other, with Stan on Kyle’s other side and Craig on Kenny’s. Kyle asked where Wendy is, and Stan just said she was somewhere inside.

  
“It’s crazy that there’s this many people here,” Stan said, grabbing a blunt that Kyle hadn’t noticed being passed around. “But I guess there’s nothing else to do in this town.”

  
“And no one’s really been able to spend any time together since we graduated,” Kyle added, taking the blunt from Stan when he was done with it. “So going to a place where everybody else is guaranteed to be there sounds a bit more appealing. Speaking of, how’s school been going? I was so busy when you came out for Thanksgiving that I couldn’t really catch up like that.”

  
Kyle was right, much to Stan’s dismay. They still talked all of the time, of course, but all of those little mundane things, like when he had forgotten to label his essay correctly, but since it was college, the professor just gave him an ‘f’, just slipped through the cracks. It was going to be so amazing to have a whole month and a half to be able to just be there with all of his old friends, especially Kyle. He felt that there was too much that they were missing from each others’ lives. 

  
“Good, exams went smooth and all that. All I could really think about the entire time was the fact that I was gonna be back here, and that kinda got me through.” Stan laughed, and wrung his hands around themselves like he always did when he was thinking. “I didn’t really expect to like being back, and I’m sure I’ll be tired of it soon enough! But it’s sorta super nice to not be in Rhode Island.” Stan and Kyle laughed together.

  
“I can imagine that,” Kyle said. He cleared his throat and shook his head. “I went by my old house the other day. It hasn’t sold yet, and—” Kyle’s voice caught. He still had a key to his house, but just remembered why. When he told everyone that his parents were going to be moving, Eric and Kenny had taken him to get a secret copy of his key, so that he would still have access to the house until it sold and could give a key back like they expected him to.

  
“I don’t know, it was weird,” Kyle finished. There was a part of him that really wanted to tell Stan about his key, but he knew that Stan would object and tell him to get rid of it. “Like, thinking about it still being there is somehow comforting, but I also feel a little sick to look at it.”

  
“I know exactly what you mean,” Stan replied, suddenly feeling very soft inside. It was incredible to talk to Kyle like this again, and it was nice to talk to someone who seemed to be going through something similar to what Stan was going through. Stan leaned over and wrapped his arms around Kyle, who laughed and hugged him back.

  
“Hey, guys!” Butters’ voice suddenly came from behind them. Kyle and Stan broke apart to both look at him. He was waving and running to enter the circle in between Kenny and Kyle. 

  
“Butters!” Kyle said. “It’s so great to see you! Did you come here alone?” Butters opened his mouth for a second, before pausing to think about what Eric had said. He hadn’t told Butters that he wanted his appearance to be a secret, per se, but he also knew that Eric hadn’t told anyone else that he was back yet. 

  
“Uh, no,” Butters answered slowly. “I don’t really know if I should be going and telling you, though.” He was nervous, but Kyle’s determined(although misinterpreted) smile reassured him. “Hey, how has your job been, Kyle?”

  
“Oh, it’s actually been really boring,” Kyle said. “South Park in general has been boring. It always seemed like the city was really exciting, but I guess it was the people.” Kyle had meant to say something much more well-thought out, maybe something with some elegance. He supposed he had still gotten his point well enough, as Butters smiled appreciatively.

  
“Well, now we’re all back for a while!” Butters exclaimed. He chuckled. knowing that he truly meant all of them.

  
“You’re right,” Kyle said with a smile. It wasn’t hard for Kyle to figure out that Cartman was with Butters. Butters was who Cartman always went to when he wasn’t going to any of the other three in their group. Plus, Butters had said a lot more than he had intended, especially since Kyle already knew that Cartman was in town. “It’s so great to see you guys again! I missed you, Butters.”

  
Butters beamed at him, and Kyle matched his ear-to-ear smile. Then Butters had the blunt in his hand, and he hit it, and said, “You too Kyle!” as much as he could through his coughing. He passed the blunt to Kenny.

  
“I’m gonna go get another drink,” Kyle said then, swirling his empty can. While he did want to get another drink, he was also sure that Butters had brought Cartman with him and Kyle needed to find him. He needed to say something to make up for earlier, although he had already technically apologized. Kyle scowled, briefly wondering why he was so bothered by this in the first place.

  
Kyle entered the house, throwing his can into the recycling bin. He paused in the doorway, scanning the kitchen for Cartman. When he didn’t seem to be there, Kyle walked further into the house, trying to ignore the throngs of people he didn’t know that had all managed to cram themselves in.

  
He quickly grabbed a can of beer out of the cooler in the living room and sat down on the couch in between an incredibly disinterested Jessie and an incredibly interested Kal. “Kyle!” Kal said. Kyle almost flinched at how much she was slurring. “Kyle you look so _good_. Have you been, like, I don’t know, working out or something?”

  
“No, Kal, not really,” Kyle answered, sitting her up as she began to lean on him. He turned to Jessie and said, “Hey, is she okay? She seems really out of it.”

  
“Oh, she’s fine, she’s just had one too many drinks,” Jessie answered. “We’re leaving with Wendy though, so she won’t be staying too long. Just ignore her advances.” Kyle nodded, and he and Jessie smiled at each other. He was about to continue their conversation when a familiar black varsity jacket with bedazzled sleeves caught his eyes.

  
“Sorry, Jessie, I forgot I was doing something,” Kyle said, standing up. His eyes still trained on Cartman. “Good luck with Kal.” He rushed away from the couch, pushing people to either side of him gracelessly. He knew people were cursing at him, but he just didn’t care. 

  
He turned the corner into the entry hall, where Cartman was standing by the door scowling at his phone.

  
“You came!” Kyle exclaimed. Cartman started, turning towards Kyle’s voice and looking for him. Kyle emerged behind Beth and Clyde making out against the wall, showing himself to Cartman. “I really thought you weren’t gonna.”

  
Cartman said nothing for a minute, leaving time enough for Kyle’s insecurity mixed with his high to raise his anxiety high. Maybe he shouldn’t have invited Cartman, and even if he had maybe he shouldn’t have come to find him even if he had. What if Cartman just wanted to come and get drunk and not have to deal with Kyle at all?

  
Suddenly, Cartman said, “I’ll admit, the thought of seeing you again almost put me off enough not to.”

  
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Kyle said. He rolled his eyes, but smiled when he saw Cartman trying to hide his own. Kyle grabbed Cartman’s wrist, ignoring his immediate cries of dismay. “And stop complaining, I’m not touching you cause either of us want it.”

  
“Yeah,” Cartman said, though Kyle could hardly hear him. “Well if that’s really not why you’re holding me _so_ tenderly, then what’s this about, gay boy?” Cartman’s face grew hot at his own words. 

  
“It’s about Kenny,” Kyle answered simply, and Cartman went quiet. There was nothing he could really say to that; he’d missed Kenny a lot more than he had expected that he would when he’d moved to Boulder. (Although he’d admit that he’d been not terribly thrilled at the idea of going back to Kenny’s house before Butters had taken a different turn than usual and realised that Kenny wasn’t as poor as his parents were.)

  
Kyle led Cartman back through the back door, back to where Butters and Kenny were leaning heavily on each other whispering back and forth.

“Kenny, look!” Kyle yelled, moving faster. Cartman was complaining behind him, but he ignored him. “Kenny, look who I brought!”

  
Kenny and Butters separated, both looking at Kyle and Cartman. Kenny’s eyes and mouth opened wide in shock when he saw Cartman, and he ran towards him. Kenny jumped onto Cartman, tears from earlier coming back and covering Cartman’s varsity jacket.

  
Kyle looked at Butters, who was smiling, to Kenny and Cartman, who were holding each other tight. And Kyle smiled, and felt something in his stomach. He smiled harder, trying to ignore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my posting is gonna get erratic, i am not in a writing state of mind more days than i am. i might go in and edit these chapters more later but for now i hope you enjoy

**Author's Note:**

> im... really attached to kyman, so im probably going to project a lot into this fic. i literally started writing it to comfort me about missing my friends who all went to college. anyways, the title is based off of TECHNICALLY a john mayer song but i like a cover on soundcloud better so if you would like to set the mood for yourself, the link to listen is in the top notes :)


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